Diet Debacle #1

well. the thing that seems to be the most effective for my weight loss is counting calories. it works perfectly. when i stay within my limit. here is a typical day for you. i had three poached eggs for breakfast with two slices of buttered toast and a cup of hot tea. sounds extravagant but it was all well within my breakfast limit of 5oo calories. so the morning meal went swimmingly. i proceeded to lunch. i had a full can of vegetable orzo soup, a turkey, neufchatel and hummus wrap and a cup f blueberries. all very delicious and perfectly within my limits. i consumed a small snack when i got home, forgetting entirely what it was. first mistake.

i then had some busy errands to run and returned home a few hours later utterly famished. my relative was over for their birthday celebration and a proper feast was prepared; it's the fitting thing to do. having don e so stellarly all day, i took small portions of roast beef and gravy and mashed potatoes and 2 light rolls. it was gone before i knew i'd tasted it. that was the downward spiral into the abyss. i stopped counting how many rolls i had after number six and stopped eating mashed potatoes and gravy only after i realized i had made a particularly noticable hole in the amounts of both.

later on that night, while partaking of one of my favorite activities, couch potato-ing, i got the non marijuana munchies. they come frequently to those of us who fall into the diet debacle category. usually, when the urge hits i get the celery and carrot sticks out or frantically chug numerous glasses of water to stave of the cravings. not this time.

as Monica and Chandler made their last funny comments before the commercial, i darted into the kitchen to retrieve my snack. upon opening the refrigerator, i saw the veggies and some water bottles. but, for some reason the tub of cake icing found its way into my hand. along with a spoon. after half the icing was gone i needed something salty to take away the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and pretzels were the cure. as Rachel yelled at Ross and left the room and Martha Kaufman and David Krane had their names flash across the television screen, i heaved a depressed sigh and crinkled up the poor plastic bag. it never saw me coming. now the pretzels were dead. so was my little drive to diet.