as i said, no one WANTS to be fat, i suppose it just kind of happens. one day we look down and think, oh dear, i thought men didn't have bulges there! and we notice our thighs have begun to look like last week's cottage cheese and parts of our midriff have been permanently creased and marked in a most unattractive way with stretch marks, neither of which are derived form age nor pregnancy. i am no exception to this rule and i too looked down to see the man breasts, stretch marks and cellulite that unfurled on the vast landscape that has become my body. needless to say i have tried to diet. let me tell you, the very best person to write the perfect diet book is a chronic fatty. believe me, i know ALL the tricks. i could tell you exactly how to lose the weight you want to lose in any amount of time. i just lack the drive or willpower to follow through with my many brilliant body reduction schemes.
as for my dieting, i did brilliantly for a while. i lost oh, forty pounds and kept it off. until Christmas. stupid happy holidays and love and quality time with loved ones and all that rot. all it left me with was extra jiggle. despite the fact that i enjoy being in the Christmas spirit, i was not actually trying to emulate jolly old St. Nick and adopt his body type. however, i did. i thought, oh, it'll be easy to slip back into a routine and drop weight like its nothing. (even before Christmas, i still had to lose another 40 pounds IN ADDITION to the first 40) obviously it has yet to happen and i have now gained back 10 of the forty pounds i lost to begin with.
so now, i am attempting to chronicle my dieting escapade. i am traveling in Germany in September and i AM determined to look nothing short of sexy by then. so i am just staring out... again. we'll see how this goes.
No comments:
Post a Comment